“Because we know this is a period in our daughters’ lives,” says Mom, “where they’re attempting to find out who they are, explore various life decisions, and clear the fog on which career to pursue, my husband and I try to be open. We know they need to experiment. So, when our oldest daughter announced she wanted to be a vegetarian, we didn’t think anything of it. Nicole has always enjoyed beef, especially in stew. One of her friends was a vegetarian and another’s family ate only seafood and poultry. My husband and I figured this would pass. Nicole just wanted to try out her friend’s eating styles. As time went by though, she still wasn’t eating meat. My husband is one of those guys who doesn’t consider a meal a meal without a hunk of meat as the main attraction. I eat meat about four times a week, constantly read the latest nutritional findings to my daughters, and remind them about the benefits of eating fruits and vegetables.”

A Discussion with nineteen-year-old Nicole, the family vegetarian. She’s completing her first two years of college while living at home, and hasn’t eaten meat for two years.

Q: Why did you become a vegetarian?

A: I admit I first tried it to see what it was like and told my parents it would probably be for only a while. My Mom worries so, and if I told her it was temporary she wouldn’t as much. As time went by I liked how I felt. I’ve become aware of how our food is violated by the process of science. We’re getting more quantity, but have sacrificed quality. I believe Americans eat too much meat. It is a meat-eating culture. Because America hasn’t yet placed labels on it’s food stating whether it has been genetically altered or not, I can’t make a healthier choice with fruits, vegetables and grains. The healthier thing I could do was eliminate meat. Many bad things are done to the food animals eat and to the animals themselves. Hormones are pumped directly into them. Much of our corn and soy-beans have been messed with too. Whenever possible I try to get the ones that haven’t been. We need better labels. People have a right to know what they’re eating. Vegetarianism also feels right; like I’m doing something for the world. Humans have taken much from the earth. I have to give something back. There is inner peace for me as a vegetarian.

Q: What other changes have you made to your diet?

A: I’ve made changes elsewhere too, such as switching to soy and rice milk. Have you read how bad cow’s milk is? I do, however, eat lots of yogurt. That is good for me. It has great nutritional value and contains active cultures. They help the digestive system.

Q: What changes have you noticed in your body?

A: I used to always be tired; not now. My sense of smell is incredible and I’ve lost weight without becoming anorexic. Many people think you’re automatically going to be anorexic if you’re a vegetarian.

Q: Is it difficult living with non-vegetarians?

A: No, not really, but cooking meat permeates throughout the whole house. Let’s just say I’m glad Mom likes scented candles.

Q: Have there been any surprises upon becoming a vegetarian; things you don’t like?

A: After years of being a vegetarian I’ve noticed my sense of smell and taste has heightened. Vegetarians, meat-eaters, and those who eat a lot of garlic and spices have different body scents.

Q: How do you deal with family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, especially at holidays?

A: Everyone seems to deal with it now, but I can tell they’d rather not, especially the men. Both grandmothers worried about my health at first. Now that I’m still healthy they’re fine. They even make sure there is something I can eat such as stir-fries, one of my favorites.

Q: Does it frustrate you when trying to decide where to eat out with non-vegetarians?

A: Oh yes. When people are hungry they don’t like taking time to find a place where I can get something too. That’s definitely one of the down sides of being a vegetarian.

A Discussion with Melissa, Nicole's meat-eating sister, now sixteen years old and in high-school.

A: I like meat. It tastes good and I can’t find the same flavor from vegetables. Besides, I could never give up pepperoni, bacon, or Whoppers.

Q: How do you view vegetarians?

A: I respect their choice and even admire their discipline. Once I thought of trying to become one, but couldn’t wean myself from meat.

Q: Is it difficult living with a vegetarian?

A: Some of the dishes Nicole makes are interesting, and when she’s cooking them they make me hungry. She cooks often. Because of this I do eat better since she became a vegetarian.

Q: How do you choose which meal to eat when your Mom cooks one and Nicole another?

A: It depends on what each looks like, smells like, and tastes like. Often though, I take a little from each.

Q: Does it frustrate you when deciding where to eat out? How about when you want to go to places like Burger King?

A: Yes, a little. We have to think about whether there is something available for Nicole and if she’ll like it. We don’t go to Burger King much and I miss that.

Q: How do you think other people view Nicole’s choice? Are you embarrassed? Proud?

A: It’s weird, but most people who have trouble with Nicole’s decision are men. I’m proud of my sister’s determination to stick to her decision, even when people give her a hard time.

Q: What do you like best about Nicole being a vegetarian? The least?

A: I like the food variety. She’s always experimenting. I can’t wait to see what comes of it. She cooks a lot of Japanese and I love that. The flavor is clean; not milky or cheesy. We both eat everything with chopsticks too. It can be annoying trying to find a restaurant that has food Nicole can eat.

“It hasn’t really been a big deal,” says Dad. Mom smiles because he doesn’t do the grocery shopping or fix meals, even so, Mom mostly agrees. “The reason it hasn’t been a big deal is because Nicole was seventeen when she became a vegetarian, she likes to cook, and she works hard at being healthy. The only bumpy time is going out to eat and doing all the dishes that two meals create. Sometimes I make something for her, especially when she doesn’t get home from college until late. All in all, as long as she stays healthy we deal with and accept it. Even though one daughter is a vegetarian and one isn’t, life hasn’t changed. We all respect each other’s individuality. Three of us eat meat, and one doesn’t, but we’re still the same people. The difference now is that two meals are made instead of one. That just means variety and healthier choices.”

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