Reviewed by Tim Wilfong, age 17


For the last few years, we have been transitioning to a new age. Gone are the days that men could wake up disheveled, put on their dirty jeans, and leave the house, Snickers in hand. We have reached the Age of the Well-Kept Man, where a man needs to know in what order to use a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer (tip: that's it). It's the age when dry skin is unacceptable, where you must not over-mix scents, and where it's not unheard of to recommend an overnight cream to a friend, regardless of their gender.

That said, it was with trepidation that I opened a box stuffed full of Burts Bees skincare products, and my journey to Modern Manhood began. My naive hands sorted through several kits, looking at kinds of cream I didn't know existed. What could I possible want with so many different jars of lotion when I could only guess (with, I later found out, only mild accuracy) what the difference between a day cream and a night cream was? Trying to control my nerves, I sat down, took a couple of deep breaths, and began to investigate. I kept telling myself, "What do I have to lose?"

I began by opening each product to see exactly what it looked like, but what I found to be more immediately gratifying were the smells. Oh, the smells, like sesame tofu to a starving man in a desert! The Marshmallow Vanishing Creme was like an exquisite dessert, good enough to eat. The Garden Tomato Toner smelled like it had come straight from the vine, and any of the Rose scented products from the Burt's Healthy treatment Facial Care Kit sent my head spinning with glee. Again and again, I was engulfed by soothing aromas that filled my senses.

But I remembered that I was supposed to actually use the products, not just sit around and smell them to my hearts content, and again the nervous pit in my stomach began to turn. Regardless of my prolific accomplishments in life (Saving the world, converting entire countries to vegetarianism, orchestrating world peace, etcetera), I had no idea how to apply anything. Unfortunately, neither of the kits I ordered came with instructions, and as if they expected me to be a beauty consultant myself!

So, I stuck with something simple: the Burts Bees Baby Bee Buttermilk Lotion. Never before had my hands felt so akin to satin; this product, perfect for "sensitive skin of all ages," can soothe even the most savage beast, leaving your hands soft as a baby's... well, you know. I thought to myself, "Well, that wasn't so bad."

One day and several frantic, panicked phone conversations to my female friends later, I delved into the facial products. I emerged from my shower to open the Lemon Poppy Seed Facial Cleanser, and, in serious need of a muffin, applied the cleanser complete with actual poppy seeds that massaged my face as I scrubbed. I washed it off to find my face soft, supple, and clean. I had been told that a toner is a good way to clean any residue of cleansers out of your pores, so I used the Garden Tomato Toner, and instantly felt a wave of summertime refreshment against my even smoother cheeks. Not thinking things could get any better, I eyed the Carrot Day Creme suspiciously. It seemed a bit heavy and oily to put on a face that tends to gravitate relentlessly towards pimples, but I tried it anyway. This has since become my favorite of the Burts Bees products; it leaves your face feeling moisturized but not oily, and has actually helped me keep my acne problems at bay.

I could describe for hours each product of Burts Bees, and only succeed in convincing everyone that I am, in fact, verbose. So I suggest instead that you try Burts Bees for yourself. From their famous Beeswax Lip Balm to their heavy-duty Hand Salve, you can find any product for any skin affliction. Explore the variety they offer with one of their amazing kits; the Head to Toe Starter Kit is perfect for getting a large array of products to try for yourself. I have no reservations about recommending Burts Bees to anyone I meet, and hope you will feel the same.

--Tim Wilfong is a freshman classical vocal music performance major at the New England Conservatory of Music in Boston. He has been a writer longer than a vegetarian, but is no less passionate about animals (or his health). The biggest food challenge he expects to face this year is how to create a nutritious vegetarian diet out of dorm food.